I Let My Self Go

Recently I’ve been piled up with midterms and homework assignments, and I haven’t made time for working out and exercise. I keep telling myself, I’m going to start eating healthy next monday and begin a work out routine. I keep setting a date and keep pushing it back further. This is not the best strategy for me, this is me just not biting the bullet and making the change. If I want there to be a change in my lifestyle I shouldn’t wait till next Monday. I should start right now! I have been thinking about this for the last couple hours and it’s been bugging me that I am letting food and laziness take over my life. I need to find a balance and begin prioritizing so I can obtain my goals.

This is more of a rant more than anything.

I will begin tomorrow with a healthy mindset and practice healthy habits. Si se puede.

-Bella-o

Starting Over, yet again.

I recently broke up with my boyfriend, which sort of led to a downward spiral. I know it was I who broke up with him, but it’s still depressing. I’ve found myself eating less healthy and losing sight of my workout routines. I’ve been an emotional eater the last couple days and I need to get out of this habit before it consumes me. It’s not healthy for me or my success at weight loss. Prior to my excessive eating I was weighing 205 and now I went up to 216 in  a matter of days (about a week).

I am approaching my 21st birthday still around the same weight I did on my 20th birthday. Prior to my 20th birthday I’ve lost 40+ pounds within two years and since then I’ve been stumped between 200-215. If anything the success I had in 2010-2011 was that I implemented a workout routine and built muscle mass, but the healthy eating did not last for very long. I need to teach myself how to eat to live and not live to eat.

I will be moving away from home where I won’t have accessibly to a car, and I’ll be mainly relying on the bus and my bicycle. This means I will be cooking more at my rental home than eating out and driving to the grocery store for junk food. Whenever I’m home, my weekness involves snacking out which eventually I’ll have to learn how to control. Away from home though I’ll stock my fridge with healthy foods and salads.

I can do this!

I shouldn’t be spending anymore time moping around, but get sight of my goals once again. I can do this.

Summer 2011

For the past three  summers I have been working at a Camp up in the mountains as a retreat worker. This is a labor intensive job that involves cleaning, cooking, and cleaning. Yes I repeated myself on purpose, we clean so much it’s like a workout! haha. Anyways, with more calories burned than usual I am eating more than usual which is fine, but I need to gear my taste buds in a more healthy perspective. Since I live and work up here all the food resources I have are from the kitchen which consists of camp food, which is basically food out of cans and baked desserts! Of course there’s healthy options, but it’s so hard when we have a ton of carbs and protein served. My weight still hasn’t gone under 200lbs, but I know it can definitely go down to 180 before the summer’s out if I just set my  mind to it. I’m going to start packing snacks so that I have multiple meals/snacks a day to begin metabolizing my food faster and therefore losing weight faster and being less hungry. Out of the foods avaliable, my breakfast I will have oatmeal and possibly some brown sugar as a topping. Then two hours later have fresh fruits. For lunch I can make salad/ half a sandwich/or fresh fruits (options for both meals) and for dinner I can have salad and possibly something else in the kitchen that is yummy and healthy. I think I’m going to have to cut out the deserts out of my diet if I want a successful summer up here. I’m going to try and do a Power 90 food and exercise routine there the following days I’m there. Let’s see how it all pans out.

A Major Set Back

So far in the last two years or so I’ve lost about 45 pounds and find myself stuck right above 200. I have probably weighed between 210 and 203 for the last month now and I’m tired of not seeing my scale go lower. I know a lot of it has to do with what I do, but it’s a little depressing to see no change after the exercise I do.

I am still overweight and I know I can still lose more. I am having a constant battle with myself and food. I want so much to be thin and healthy, but yet I find comfort in food. I suspect the only reason why I haven’t gained my weight back is because I’m so active at the gym. I love exercising but I can’t put down the food.

I need to find comfort in something else besides food. I love food, but it can ruin me if I always reach out to it. I need to listen to my body more than just my taste buds and emotions. I need a new outlet.

Anyways, I have an extremely supportive boyfriend who helps me make right decisions when we’re eating together at school (we both live on campus), but I noticed that every once in a while when we aren’t eating together I’ll pig out. I’ll get a chocolate bar or chips and I know I don’t need them, but I want them because they taste good. Other times I’m on top of my game on my own and stray away from these foods but I always come back. I use the Lose it App, but I feel like I keep making the same mistakes over and over again. Does anyone have any tips to to switch it up to add healthy sweets and flavor to their diets without consuming extra empty calories? Or what are some ways you manage your caloric intake without falling into traps?

I have been falling into traps a lot in the last couple months. I at least pig out twice out of the week and I just want control of my cravings so I don’t pig out, that is my ultimate set back. I don’t want to fall into any unhealthy behaviors so that’s why I’m documenting my feelings and stuggles. Anyways, any helpful advice is greatly appreciated.

Anyways, that’s all. I’m going to try to get on top of my game again. 45lbs in two years is great progress! I have to keep aiming towards my goal!

Set Back

This week has been a huge set back for me. I am not eating healthy and I have not been making any effort in going to the gym on a daily basis. I have been going over my calorie budget. It could be because my friend who visits me once a month may be coming, but still that is no excuse. I have not been logging my food religiously and that needs to change. I need to find the motivation to finish this week on a good note. I realize the problem and I’m going to do something about it.

Changes in my Body

First and foremost, I would like to apologize for not keeping my promise of updating regularly. Up until this point I have been recording my progress with the iPod app Lose It! and have been successfully logging for several months now.

Today was an unsuccessful day on my behalf because of the amount of food I consumed. I fell back into the old habit of overeating just because food tastes good. I made some pretty poor decisions and I can’t really make up for them because I’ll most likely get sick from it.

But today while I over ate, I noticed that my body could not handle it. I feel sick. Before when I would overeat I could go on uncontrollably. My body was use to the amount of food going in and now when I over eat I feel sick and heavy. My body does not like this feeling and I’m paying for it now with gas and a stomach ache. It’s an unpleasant feeling and I feel that these feelings are signs that my body is changing for the best.

I need to listen to my body and not my taste buds… My body knows best.

Even though today was a very unsuccessful day I learned something about myself and I know what I have to do to continue on this journey for life.

I’ll try to keep this journal up.
thanks for listening.

-Bella

 

Welcome to a New Year

Wow, would you look at that… Time flies! Welcome to 2011! This year I will continue my healthy routine and become a healthier me! I’m already off to a good start. I’ve been using the Lose It app religiously for about two weeks prior to the new year and have been regularly working out. I specifically want to talk about yesterday. My family was being lazy and instead of cooking a home cooked meal or having left overs from our New Years Eve party they opted to get some fast food. They ordered a stuffed crust pizza and three combo meals at Wendy’s. I opted out and because I was over my calorie budget I worked out and  finished the day being under by 500 or so calories. It felt good. Today my boyfriend picked me up around 7:30AM and we went to the nearby gym where we stretched, lifted weights,  and did some cardio on the elliptical. For the time that we were at the gym, I burned about 900 calories. I feel so good, I will keep going! I want to be healthy and look good!

Realization

I have come to the realization that I am tired of being unhealthy. I’m tired of hiding from the camera. I’m tired of clothes not fitting right. I’m just tired, and I need a permanent change in my life. I don’t want to put my body at risk for harmful conditions such as diabetes since it runs in my family.I feel like I’ve written this starting post a million times, but now it’s different I am dedicated and I want this change. I need this change to be complete.

Today was the first time in about three weeks that I counted my calories. I was off to a bad start this morning with Starbucks and Bunuelos (a Christmas dessert) but made up for it by having a healthy lunch and dinner. After calculating my calorie intake with the Lose It! app, I was about 300 calories over my daily budget and I went for a run to make up for it. I am now 180 calories under my budget and I feel great. Today is the start of a healthier life. I’m looking forward to what’s to come

Today, I weighed in and I’m currently 213 pounds. I want to stay away from the scale for two weeks to see what kind of progress I’ll make with this new found motivation I have. I have the help of my sister, the Lose It! app, and hopefully the Lost It! community. I’ll use these tools/resources to keep me motivated and uplifted throughout my journey.

last but not least, here are some pictures of myself from this December.

Being Unhealthy

It’s a choice. I know what I want to do, but I can’t stop from making unhealthy decisions. Right now I’m currently weighing in at 215lbs. I was on a roll for about two weeks and went down to about 206 lbs right away. I was motivated to lose weight and be healthy, but then I go through these phases where I start falling back into my old routine and it’s usually triggered when I go home to visit. There I have no control of what I eat and go wild. When I come back to school I usually cool but my habits continue, and then I’ll start up my healthy schedule again and then all of a sudden I go home to visit.

I think getting away from home has really helped my situation and my weight loss, but I need to continue with my healthy habits everywhere even if that means where I’m most vulnerable to my bad habits.

I’m going home this weekend, and starting tomorrow I’m going to start up my health routine starting with a morning run with my boyfriend. I will aim to be healthy this whole weekend. I can do it. No junk food, just healthy foods.

Getting Healthy

So this is not the first time that I have started a health blog. In fact it’s probably the fifth attempt at writing one, but the difference between this blog and those blogs is that I’ll be more open about myself. In those blogs I was so anonymous and it wasn’t even about my health, but about my weight. I was preoccupied with losing weight to look hot, I was not looking at the health benefits. Now I’m older and wiser and know it’s not just about my physical appearance, but my actual health. Obesity is the cause of so many heart diseases, diabetes, high blood pressure, and more. I am twenty years old! It’s about time I made a change in my life for the good. I want to be healthy dammit!!! And I will!

For the past couple weeks at school I have been continuously working out at the gym and running, and was so motivated that I would go everyday. So far I’ve lost about 10lbs since I’ve been away from home and living on campus. The last week has kind of been a disaster. I have not been working out on a daily basis and I have been eating more than I can chew. The last time I went to the gym I weighed myself and I gained 6lbs back from my previous loss. I think what my problem is I need to find motivation to stay motivated. And for this reason I started this blog. I want to find connections with other bloggers who are in the same situation and willing to support one another. Even though I have tried this before I really feel that it will make a difference. Why? Because I’m not being some random anonymous girl, but a being myself and real.

I got this idea from one of the members at 20sb, and hopefully the community there looking to reach the same goals as me are willing to help me out as I am willing to help them out.